Thursday, August 24, 2006


Anger, a part of me still rages deep down inside. My resolve in keeping it under control has been strong but each time I have a brush off with my father, it just brings my resolve down to my knees. Like a blade of grass in a howling wind, I hold my own but my emotions sways with abandon. What is it that I am angry at? His ill hidden pretense at caring? His indifference towards me through my whole life? The deep seated pain and insecurity that plagues my sleep and haunts my memories? Yearning to weep but the tears wont come, my soul is drowning in the tears that I hold in me. I feel so fragile and so vulnerable. Seeking to care for and protect the people around me hides that. The sense of empowerment that comes with offering protection alleviates the glass tingling shatter I hear over and over again. Therefore is my concern but a sham? A pretense? Who am I really? I pray for an enlightened soul who is able to see past what I have failed to see and tell me that someday.


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