Sunday, March 19, 2006

Hello blog, hows it been. Feeling lonely out here? Me too.

Life, many a great philosopher have pondered over it. Greater meanings, life after death. In fact I seriously suspect religion was created sorely due to the insecurity towards life. The fragility, the futility of life. Oh how am I guilty of this..

I create a whirlwind of activity around myself, I plan my futures, work crazy long hours, do the things which I so very love. And yet when everything settles and I look back into my very soul. There lies an emptiness, a coldness that jarrs me to my bones, a gaping chasm that cant seem to be fufiled no matter what. Is this the very state that drives man towards the notion of divinity so very many years ago? That we see ourselves as so minute, so inconsequential that we have to conceptualise Greater Beings that in turn give us meanings? We give meaning to nothingness that it may give us meaning. How tragically ironical that the greatest gift our mind (awareness) gives us is also our greatest mental barrier.

To an outsider, I am the prodigal son, walking back on the right path headed towards a sterling future, fufiling my potential. However, inside me, nothing seems to have changed much. Its all a sham i tell you, a sham. Once a sonofabitch cynic, always will be one.

Heaved down my baggage and looked around,
Cut stones and wet marshes, not a sound.
I see the silence and hear the fog,
Mind and heart tumbling back in one accord.
Memories of roads travelled unraveled,
Ashes of tears; songs of sorrow; Tears of joy; throbs of love.
Paths once clear, now fields of dust.
Turned my shoulders walking on ..

'The weary man'


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